Rather Be Unhappy Than Uncertain...

Why do we fear change?

Change is constant.

We experience it daily.

Still, the fear of change impacts everyone.

Evolutionarily, our brains are hardwired to prefer routine and consistency. Our ancestors inherently knew that change often brought a lack of safety. In today’s world, things are no different. We engage in habitual behaviors that help us save time, accomplish tasks, and feel in control of the outcomes. It is when change is imposed by forces beyond our control that we feel disempowered, stressed, and anxious.

Change brings uncertainty into our lives. In our brains, uncertainty is registered as an error that needs to be corrected so that we can feel comfortable again. People would rather be unhappy than uncertain. That explains why most people prefer things that have been around for a long time or choose to stay in a job for many years - even if they aren’t happy. They are willing to trade fulfillment for a sense of stability, familiarity, and predictability. If you have been working in a job for 5-6 years, you have certainly gained high competence in many tasks. This level of expertise helps maintain your confidence and alleviate your fears (but not your unhappiness)! People stay in jobs that make them feel miserable because they are scared to start a new job where they would feel vulnerable, uncomfortable, and at risk of failure (or success).

Our fear of change is linked to our fear of losing what we have built or gained so far. When we choose to create a change, such as moving to a new home or shifting jobs, we are aware of how long it takes to build what we are leaving behind. We think about the energy and resources we have used to reach the point where we are now. This level of awareness might act as a barrier to our new change.

The good news is that the fear of change can be overcome with practice, patience, and time. Here is how I can help with some ideas you can explore and try until you find what works best for you.

Know Your Why. It’s important to have clarity about your purpose and know what you want. Understanding and knowing your why will help you make decisions with ease. When faced with difficulty in deciding or changing, ask yourself if your choice aligns with your purpose. If not, don't do it!

Be Present. Our fear of change gets fueled by our projections toward a future that is difficult to imagine. The perception of the unknown adds anxiety, limits our horizons, and closes doors to opportunities. If we want to move forward, we need to stay focused on where we are now, take one step at a time, and deal with unpredictability when it occurs (if it ever occurs!).

Be Positive. It's hard to be positive when we don't know what will happen next. By default, most of us tend to imagine the worst-case scenario and say, 'What if it doesn't work out?' If we want to overcome our fear of change, we need to train our minds to see situations from a positive angle and learn to ask ourselves, 'What if it does work out?' The more we train our brains to follow a path of positive feedback, the easier it becomes to embrace change rather than fear it. It's important to remind ourselves all the time that we have made changes in the past that worked out for the better. This positive reinforcement will help us stay positive when fear shows up again in our lives.

Believe in Your Competence. As human beings, we are also flexible and adaptable. By necessity or desire, we know how to find ways to get what we want. The problem is that we forget too quickly!

So, here is how you can help yourself: make this sentence your daily mantra. And practice it!

I fundamentally believe that change will only make me better.

I fundamentally believe that change will only make me better.

I fundamentally believe that change will only make me better.

Thank you for reading!